Moments
by illuminatingthesoul
Summary: After a little time spent apart, Dov cannot stand the distance anymore. He gets his girl back, but his he prepared for the truth behind her strange behavior?
1. Getting the Girl

Here is the next installment in the Dov/Megan portion of this Rookie Blue galaxy. Mainly written for one FireEthereal, who leaves the BEST REVIEWS EVER. No joke, I look forward to you in particular. Heheh. Anyways, I know you're all itching to find out exactly what happened to Megan when she vanished from Dov's house. Well, you might find out this fic. Probably. As of right now, there are other things at hand... ;)

* * *

Getting the Girl

Dov lifted his aching legs up the stairs in front of his house, less than thrilled to finally be home. He'd been back at work for two weeks now. After the Dawn Fletcher, he knew he needed to be back there, not standing idly by as he was. He pushed open the front door and tossed his bag on the floor.

Looking around, he assessed the miserable condition of his abode. Blinds shut, dirty dishes, a spare shirt lying crumpled on the ground near the couch. Miserable.

His house was back to what it had been like before. A house. That was it. Somewhere you slept at night, and then left in the morning. No puppy, no Megan, not a home.

The ringing of a phone jarred Dov enough to make him drop his keys.

"Damnit." He flipped open his phone. "Hello?"

"Hey man, are you coming to the Penny tonight?" Chris asked over the loud cheering and music at the bar.

"No." He breathed. "I've got something I gotta do."

"You gonna go talk to her?" His friend asked, stepping outside the Penny.

"I'm gonna try, that's for sure. I just want her to come back!" He rubbed his hand over his face and tousled his hair.

"She wouldn't even open her door for me. Be patient with her, I think she's just scared. Good luck." He offered, a hopeless tinge in his voice.

"Thanks, brother." Dov hung up. He almost turned and called for Aila, before he remembered that the little dog was back with his owner now. Dov hadn't felt this low and unhappy since his parents got a divorce during his senior year in high school, an event that shook him to his core. He turned on his heel and headed back out, knowing there was nothing he needed at his so called home.

Back in his car, he circled the block three times before finally parking and jogging up to her apartment.

"Megan? It's me. It's Dov, I mean. Can we talk?" He called through the door, its paint peeling and the large golden 4 had lost it's bottom screw. '_I need to get her out of this hell hole._' He reminded himself.

"No." She answered, sounding much the same as she did the day she packed her things and left. Scared.

"Please?" He wasn't above begging her.

"No, Dov!" Her voice cracked.

"Fine." He ran his hand through his hair and crossed his arms defiantly. "Then I'm going to sit in the hallway until you change your mind." He turned his back to the door and slid down to the floor.

"Go home, Dov." She hurled her words at him.

"Don't have a home." He answered plainly.

"What?" She asked in disbelief.

"It's not a home without my girlfriend." She didn't answer this time, but an older man at the end of the hall opened the door.

"Can you shut up?" He snapped.

"Come on, man. I'm trying to win my girl back here, give a guy a break." Dov threw his hands up at the ceiling.

"Hurry it up; I'm trying to watch Dancing with the Stars in here. Do the words 'finale week' mean anything to you?" The man slammed the door shut.

"Then turn up the volume, old man!" Dov called after him. He fell onto his back as Megan swung open the door. "Oh, hello there." He waved at her, upside down.

"Get up." She snapped. "Don't disturb my neighbours, they can have me evicted."

"Are you going to talk to me?" He asked, not moving.

"Fine, just make it quick." She stepped back and he lifted himself off the ground and walked into her apartment.

She looked better than she had, her bruises had faded. They were now a light greenish yellow, compared to the angry red and purple they'd been for a while after she reappeared at his house. The house was bare, pictures had been taken down. He did a quick, subtle glance around and noticed something that puzzled him. She'd taken down all the mirrors.

"How have you been?" He leaned against the counter across from her.

"I'm fine." She answered shortly. He rose from his position and cross the kitchen to stand in front of her.

"Look, I'm gonna skip the small talk. I'm too tired and miserable to but on a show. I miss you. I want you to come back." He furrowed his brow and spoke from the heart. "I need you to come back." Desperation plagued his expression.

"Dov. I just, I can't right now." She pressed her lips together and averted her eyes, doing her best to keep her emotions in check.

He reached forward to brush her hair out of her face, but she gasped and flinched, which in itself was traumatizing for Dov.

"Megan." He whispered. "Did you think I was going to hit you?" She didn't answer, but her knees began to buckle and tears began to fall. "Megan, did you?"

"I don't know." She finally answered almost inaudibly. He sighed, upset.

"Look at me." He begged her. After a few seconds, she lifted her gaze to reveal brilliant turquoise jewels. Her eyes always a few shades brighter when she'd been crying. "I will never, never in a million years even think about laying a hand on you. Never. And God help me if I ever find who did." His voice was a little raspy, reflecting his exasperation. Again, she looked away but found the courage to meet his gaze once more. The look of resignation in her eyes smashed Dov's heart into pieces.

"Sorry." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut trying to suppress more tears.

"No, no!" He shook his head. "Don't be sorry, you have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry." He wanted to hold her, and make everything okay. "I'm so sorry. I never should have pressed the subject. I just wanted to find who hurt you." Another tear fell and a choked sob escaped her cut lips.

"I know." She replied sadly.

"Please, just come home to me. Please. I will never ask you again, I will never bring up the subject or anything even remotely related, okay? Please. I just want you to come home." He begged. "Please." He opened his arms, willing her to walk to him, to safety. They stood in silence for what felt like hours before she finally nodded and collapsed into his capable arms.

She sobbed into his shoulder, begging him for forgiveness which he didn't have to give. He rubbed her back and kissed her head, swaying gently in place as he tried to soothe her shaking body.

He hated seeing her upset. It was nearly every day she'd cry, and it ripped him to shreds because he couldn't fix her. He couldn't stand not being able to fix her. He led her into the living room and lay down on the couch with her, cradling her small form.

Eventually, she did stop crying. She remained curled up on top of him, her head resting on his shoulder, her index finger tracing random patterns on his chest; pausing momentarily to adjust the tiny shorts she so often wore. She was clearly conflicted.

"You okay, Megan?" He slowly brought his hand up to brush the hair out of her eyes.

"Yep." She whispered.

"Would you tell me if you weren't?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. She didn't answer. "Please tell me what's wrong." He said quietly. She sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Let's just, go home." She got up off the couch and began gathering her things. He sighed and pushed his sleeves up to his elbows. He wished that she would just tell him the truth.

"Home it is." However, he was happy to have her back.

A few minutes later, the two stood outside her apartment door as she locked it and turned to him.

"I missed you too." She placed a palm on his chest and ran it up to his neck, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. "A lot." He gingerly pulled her into him and they stood content in this embrace for a while. When he finally did release her, she threaded her fingers around his and led him down the stairs.

"It's about bloody time!" The elderly man yelled after them. Dov turned as they walked out the front door and gave the man a cheesy smile and a thumbs up.

"So," he began as they climbed the front steps of his house, "it's kinda late. Are you hungry?"

She shook her head. "Not much of an appetite lately." She admitted reluctantly.

"Alright, no problem. No problem at all. Do you want to just go to bed?" He set her bag down on the table inside the door and then turned to face her.

"Sure, why not?" She smiled meekly and slipped off her shoes. She hadn't bothered to change out of her shorts and sweater, so she was basically set.

Smoothly, Dov moved towards her and slid his arms around her waist, touching his forehead to hers. She closed her eyes and soaked in the sense of comfort that she got from him.

"Please don't leave again." He asked her, quietly. "I can't sleep without you."

"Dov." She looked up at him.

"I suck at games. So I figured, what the hell. Throw all my cards on the table." He smiled.

"I'll stay as long as I'm welcome." She smiled, placing a soft hand on the back of his neck.

"So, forever?" He smiled and raised an eyebrow playfully before lifting her off the ground and carrying her to the bedroom.

They'd known each other for a while now, been officially 'together' for the majority of that time, but they'd still not taken that next step. They'd slept together, sure. But they still hadn't _slept_ together. And, much to his surprise, Dov was fine with that. He was completely happy just being next to her, feeling her hot breath on his skin as she slept.

And as he set her down on the bed that night, he realized he'd be content with that for as long as she wanted. Nothing was going to get in the way of their relationship, especially not his typically male tendencies. As they lay in bed, Megan resting her head on his chest, they didn't need to speak. They'd fallen back into their routines, and it felt like home. It felt like it was meant to be.

He brushed a lock of her long, dark hair over her bare shoulders. He'd forgotten how much he loved her hair; how it contrasted with her fair skin and curled so beautifully around her shoulders, and how when they got caught in the rain it clung to her body in such a way that it looked like she'd just stepped out of a shoot for Italian Vogue.

"How are you?" She asked, suddenly.

"Good. Great. I have you, I'm back at work, and I'm a month and a half sober. I'm happy." He answered, satisfied with the turn of events.

"That's wonderful, Dov." He could feel her smiling against his skin. He traced his thumb over the small city of freckles situated on the back of her left shoulder, and smiled as he thought about where they might have come from.

Her breathing evened out and he took this long awaited opportunity to just be there, in the moment. No thinking, just feeling and being happy for the first time since she left. He kissed her on the forehead and saw a small smile creep up her lips.

"Night, babe." He whispered, before finally falling asleep.

A noise jarred him awake. He checked the clock: 3:00 AM.

Rolling onto his side, he immediately noticed that Megan was gone. Sitting up, he realized the bathroom light was on. Careful as to not scare her, he got out of bed and walked towards the source of the light. Water was running and he could hear her laboured breaths before he even made it to the doorway. She jumped when she saw him and pressed her palm to her chest.

He walked in behind her and slid his hands onto her stomach, strategizing. Her red rimmed eyes and pink nose told him she was upset, but why was a whole different story.

"What's wrong, hon?" He asked her through the mirror.

"Nothing." She choked out, wiping her eyes before lifting them to meet his gaze.

"Please tell me." He whispered in her ear. She began to shake her head, but seemed to think better of it.

"My mom, is very sick." Her voice cracked and she crumbled into a fit of suppressed sobs. He walked her back into the bedroom and turned on the bedside lamp.

"What's going on, Megan?" He asked, sitting them both on the bed and facing her.

"Mom, was" she spoke through hiccups "diagnosed with cancer when I was seventeen." She gripped his hand as if it was a life jacket and she was floating through an endless sea of isolation. "Advanced, stage four lung cancer." His eyes softened and he rubbed her knee with the pad of his thumb. "She was okay, but she went into palliative care a few years ago. She just had to be moved out here a few weeks ago, and they found another tumour in her throat." She brought her hands to her face and leaned forward into Dov's chest, sobbing.

He rubbed her back and whispered soothing words to her until she had collected herself enough to continue.

"She's dying. It's a matter of time. Probably a week or so." Her breathing became soft and even.

"I'm so sorry." Was all he could manage.

"And she knows that it's happening. Her mind is all there, she knows that she's going to die." She whimpered, collapsing back into the safe haven of Dov's arms.

He lay her back down in bed and brought her a cup of hot chocolate, with a dash of cinnamon and whipped cream, the way she liked it.

"You need to go to sleep." She said after thanking him for the drink.

"I can sleep anytime. You need someone to talk to." He said, propping himself up next to her on the bed.

"Talk about what?" She asked, taking a sip out of the green mug clasped in her hands.

"Anything. Tell me about Megan." He grinned.

For the first time today, her shoulders sank back and she smiled a true smile.

"You wanna know about me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me everything." He poked her in the side playfully.

"I don't know where to start." She laughed, sniffing.

"Tell me what it was like growing up with Chris. Or tell me about some family vacation you took." He toyed with the hem of her shorts.

"How about why I started drinking?" She asked quietly.

"Do you want to tell me? You don't have to if – " She cut him off.

"I want to. I trust you." She whispered.

"Alright, I'm all ears." He smiled kindly at her.

"Buckle your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be one hell of a ride." She sighed.


	2. Meeting the Parent

Meeting the Parent

The early morning sun pierced through the disheartening atmosphere in Dov's room. He lay sideways across his bed, with Megan's feet on his stomach. She'd been leaning up against the headboard, telling him all he wanted to know for hours now.

She'd tried a few times throughout the night to convince him to get some sleep; but he'd respectfully crushed the idea into the ground. He wanted to hear about every second of every day; her memories, her hopes, her dreams. From bottom to top, inside and out. He wanted to know everything.

"And if that night wasn't terrible enough, when I finally did get out of there, it pitch black out. I jumped in my brother's car and took off." She ran her hand through her dark hair, and Dov watched in awe as it fell perfectly into place and framed her delicate features. "And just my luck, it was pouring rain. I took a corner too fast, hydroplaned and landed in a ditch." She laughed at her miserable driving and wiped her damp eyes.

"You're a daredevil, Ms. Hayes." He laughed as he traced the outline of her feet, suppressing the smile their size always put on his face. "A daredevil with tiny feet."

"Dov!" She laughed, yanking her feet away. "You make them feel bad about themselves."

"Sorry feet." He laughed, crawling up next to her, laying his head on the pillow. "So, what happened after that?"

"Well, I went home a month later after I got the car repaired." She sighed. "He was so mad."

"Did he get mad at you a lot?" Dov asked quietly. She looked down at him, a little alarmed. What had he heard?

"Why do you ask that?" She responded, her voice a little uneven. Dov sat up to look at her.

"Chris told me what life in Timmins was like for you." She cringed, trying to keep the tender memories safely tucked away.

"I don't know what you mean." She deflected, not willing to meet his gaze.

"Look, you don't have to tell me about it specifically. I just figured, while we're on the subject of your life," he placed his hand lightly on her forearm. "I want you to know something." He sat up properly and faced her. "We've all got demons. Me included. It doesn't make you a bad person, or a victim of anything."

"Dov, you really don't know what you're talking about." She shook her head, choking back the sickening feeling in her stomach.

"Yes, I do. You think my life was all rainbows and butterflies? Megan, I get it." He shook his hair out of his eyes. "I just want you to understand, that if you do ever decide to open up about it, it's not going to change anything."

She looked up at him with a mixture of fury and understanding in her eyes.

"I don't need you to make everything okay, Dov." She whispered at him, wringing her hands together nervously.

"That doesn't mean I'm not going to try." He whispered back.

She ran her fingers lightly through his hair. "When do you have to work?"

"After last weeks haul, I get three days off." She smiled at him, relieved.

"Wanna go to bed?" She asked.

"I could deal with that." He threw back the blankets and she slid down next to him, resting her head on the same pillow. He pulled the comforter back up and admired the way the sun illuminated her fair skin and shocking blue eyes before pulling the cord and lowering the blinds, allowing darkness to surround them.

"Night, love." He said quietly. He felt her shift uncomfortably, again. "Alright, what is it?"

"You keep calling me love." She admitted sheepishly.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything like that; it's just what I call you. I'll stop, I swear." He rambled on.

"No, that's not it." She interjected. He snaked his arms around her waist and she intertwined her bare legs with his. "It's just, I didn't think anyone would ever call me that." She laughed quietly, feeling a little pathetic.

"I wouldn't worry about that anymore."

It wasn't long before he'd fallen asleep, still holding her small frame tight to his body. With her free hand, she ran her thumb over his bottom lip, allowing a small, contented smile to tug at her lips. She kissed him gently before tucking her head underneath his chin and closing her eyes.

Apparently, they had the same effect on each other. Because for the few hours she did sleep, every second of it was heaven.

The growling of Dov's stomach woke both of them up.

"Sorry." He mumbled into the pillow. "I guess I'm hungry."

"When did you last eat?" She asked, rolling onto her back.

"Lunch, yesterday." He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"I'll make you something." She rolled off of the bed, but not before checking the clock. "Shit!" She jumped up, and ran her hands through her hair.

"What? What's going on?" He propped himself up and shielded his eyes from the brightness of the room.

"It's almost one. I have to go see my Mom, she has a doctors appointment in a half hour." She grabbed her bag off of the floor and found a sweater dress, before unzipping her sweater and whipping off her shirt and sliding on the warmer option.

"I'll drive you there." Dov said, getting out of bed and finding some new jeans.

"No, no. I'll take the bus. It's fine." She slid off her shorts and pulled on some leggings.

"I think not. Let's go." They jogged out to the car. On the way, he detoured to McDonalds and got them both breakfast.

"You're a lifesaver." She said as they pulled up to the Toronto Grace Health Centre.

"Just call me when you want me to pick you up, okay?" He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, but she stopped him.

"Would you maybe, want to come with me?" She asked meekly. "You don't have to, it's just, I'd rather you be there."

"Of course." He smiled at her. "Of course I will." He kissed her on the cheek anyway and then met her around the other side of the car, where he threaded his fingers through hers.

"I don't know how she's going to be." She whispered as they walked towards the front doors.

"I'm sure she'll be fine." He squeezed her hand and then held the door open for her.

Her whole body tensed as they rounded the corner into the communal area where the patients spent most of their day. She stopped at the sight of her mother. Dov could feel her breathing speed up, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

"Everything's fine, love." His words sent chills through her body, but also gave her the confidence to lead the way over to her mother, who was gazing out the front window from her recliner.

"Mom?" She stepped in front of Dov. The older woman turned and instantly lit up at the sound of her daughters voice.

"Megan! Hello my dear." She reached her frail arms up to hug her daughter. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Mom. How are you feeling?" She leaned against the arm of her mother's chair.

"Feeling like I'm the definition of that '100 Years' song." They have the same smile, Dov noticed.

"Mom," Megan looked up at Dov. "This is my boyfriend, Dov." He stepped forward and shook the woman's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Hayes." He smiled earnestly.

"Dov, hm? Like Columba." She smiled at Megan. "But please, call me Leah." She turned to Megan. "Honey, grab us some chairs." Dov stopped her by placing a hand on the small of her back, before turning and finding them some chairs himself.

"I like this one." Her Mom whispered.

"Mom!" Megan laughed, standing up to grab the chairs from Dov. The two took their seats and chatted for a little while before the doctor came to get them.

"Ms. Hayes? Would you like to come to the examination room with us? We've just got some test results for you." The doctor said.

"Oh, Dr. Rayner, I'm tired of all of these results. I'd rather just stay here and let what happens, happen." Her mother waved her hand dismissively.

"Mom! Come on, let's go." Megan stood.

"Why don't you go, honey? I don't want to know; I'd rather stay here and try to steal your adorable boyfriend." She winked at Dov.

"That works too." The doctor pointed out.

"And I'm fine with that option as well." Dov smiled his crooked smile and raised an eyebrow at Ms. Hayes.

"God, Mom. You're in your fifties and you're still a M.I.L.F." Megan laughed. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She and the doctor exited.

"So, Dov." Ms. Hayes turned to him, her blue eyes positively captivating. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, I'm a police officer." He began.

"Really? That's wonderful!" She put her hand on his. "Meg deserves a good man." She smiled. "Sorry, but I've got like a week left. I'd like to at least know who my daughter is sleeping with." Dov was taken aback by this woman's relaxed and candid attitude.

"I'm sure you'll be around longer than that. And Megan and I are still a pretty new couple, so we haven't really…" He immediately regretted even starting that second sentence.

"So you haven't hit that?" Ms. Hayes faces split into a stunning smile.

"I, uh…" He laughed.

"Don't worry about it. She hasn't got the greatest track record with men, so it's a relief to know she's with someone that isn't just hittin' it and quittin' it. You know what I mean?" Ms. Hayes leaned back in her chair.

"I think so." Dov couldn't get over the familial resemblance.

"Oh, dear." She sighed, sinking comfortably back into her chair. "This is a great place, don't get me wrong, but the view of the street? Not quite as relaxing as the view of the lake at the old sick people's home." She pushed hair out of her face.

"How come you moved out here?" He asked, leaning forward a little.

"It was Meg that moved me out here, poor girl. She showed up one day, sweatshirt and glasses, said that I was coming to live near her. Said her brother couldn't pay the bills anymore, so she was gonna take care of it. A day later, I'm here." She shrugged her shoulders.

"That's interesting." He furrowed his brows together. At that moment, Megan came back around the corner with the doctor, wiping her eyes.

"We've gotta get going, Mom. Dov's got to get to work." She leaned over and kissed her Mom on the cheek.

"Alright. You kids have fun now." She winked at them.

"It was great meeting you Ms. Hayes." Dov smiled.

"Please, Leah!" She scolded him jokingly.

"Sorry, sorry. It was great meeting you, Leah." Megan pulled on his hand and effectively dragged him from the room.

"Can we go home please?" She asked once they were finally situated in the car.

"What's wrong, babe?" He refused to put the key in the ignition until she talked to him.

"Just something the doctor said. I don't want to talk about it." She said curtly.

"Can we talk about it later?" He rubbed her thigh lightly.

"Maybe." She looked up at him, arms crossed.

"Alright." He started up the car and drove home.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" He walked into the living room and knelt in front of her. She looked like a child, wrapped in a blanket and lying on the couch, staring into the fireplace.

"Tired again." She mumbled.

"What did the doctor tell you?" He sensed a resistance in her voice.

"That she's in a lot of pain, and they want to put her into a medically induced coma." She whispered.

"What? She seemed fine today." He fell back in sheer surprise.

"Apparently she's literally just used to it." She shrugged her shoulders. "I can't believe this is happening to us." Tears filled her eyes and she buried her face in the pillow.

He curled her hair behind her ear so he could see her face, and carefully wiped away her tears. She reached up and grasped onto his hand, clutching it next to her heart.

"Oh, Dov." She opened her eyes to look at him, still shaking and sobbing. His gaze remained fixed on hers as he lowered his forehead to touch hers. He gently caressed her long dark locks and shivered as her ridiculously long eyelashes fluttered against his skin.

"Come here." She sat up and patted the couch next to her. Obediently, he lay down next to her and she crawled onto him. As comfortable as she was, bundled up in her blanket, she loved the feeling of his body under hers even more.

Dov stayed silent until she fell asleep, before finally allowing himself to exhale and rub the sleep and tears out of his own eyes. As much as he hated seeing her upset, the dreadful memories being dredged to the service had been weighing him down since last night; but he knew he had to be strong for her. That was one benefit to being a cop. You could fake anything.


	3. A Turn for the Worse

Number three! I'm not sure if we're going to find out what happened to Megan in this one. If we don't, it'll be in the beginning of the next. Be advised, there's some sexy time in this one.

* * *

A Turn for the Worse

"Where are you going?" He rolled over onto his back, his outstretched arms feeling the cool sheets around him. She'd been up for a while.

"Work. I'll only be a few hours." She said quietly, sliding on a smart looking, fitted boyfriend blazer overtop of a tailored cut out dress. She twirled her hair up into a loose chignon, a few pieces falling around her face.

"What? Why?" He sat up and ran his hand roughly through his hair.

"The server crashed last night. I've got to go in and make sure the techs don't lose any of our files from the past few collections. Damn archives." She slapped her purse down on the table. "I'm sorry. I'll pick something up on my way home, okay? I think I might stop by my place and grab a few more things, this is the only work outfit I have." She leaned against the dresser and carefully slid a high heel on one foot, and then the other.

"You don't even have an office there, yet they still make you dress to the nines on the occasions you _do _have to go in? Not cool." He rolled off his side of the bed and walked toward her. "You practically run the place. You should have an office." He slid his hands around her waist from behind as she looked in the mirror on top of the dresser, dusting bronzer over her pronounced cheek bones.

"I definitely do not run the place." She laughed. "Lisa runs the place. Lisa is the mastermind. I get Lisa her coffee." She turned to face him. "Who am I kidding? That woman depends on me. I liked this job better before she realized she could make me run all over town."

"It's amazing that you managed to keep the office running from home, it was a matter of time before she caught on." He sighed. "Hopefully this doesn't happen ever, ever again. And you can just stay home, with me, forever and ever." He grinned like a madman.

"How old are you?" She laughed, swatting his chest playfully.

"Old enough to know when I've got something good." His smile turned sincere. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, now that I have something else to think about. Later, will be truly revealing." She smiled. "Thank you, for coming in with me yesterday." She placed her hand delicately on his cheek and ran her other hand over his bare chest and shoulder, wishing she could crawl back in bed with him right that minute. The warmth that always emanated from his skin every night as he held her was easily the highlight of her day. It made her feel like she'd always be safe with him.

"Anytime, baby." He kissed her eyelids lightly, careful not to destroy any of her carefully placed makeup. "Now go, get out of here. Go keep Lisa alive." He swatted her on the behind as she giggled and hurried out of the room, laughing down the hallway.

"I'll see you later!" She called from the front door.

"I'll be here." He replied. "Take my car!"

"Bye, Dov." She laughed as she closed the door.

"Your feet will hurt if you don't." He said to himself, walking into the bathroom and stripping off his boxers. He stepped into the shower and smiled at the amount of products Megan had perched on the shelf that hung from the shower head. "There is no way she uses all of these." He laughed before turning on the water, and beginning to count down the minutes until she got back.

About fifteen minutes later, Dov reluctantly got out of the shower. The winter air always seemed to find him, even when he was indoors. He briskly dried himself off and quickly found clothes that he hoped would keep the heat in. He walked out into the living room, and shook his head and chuckled as he caught sight of his car keys, sitting on the table.

He stopped for a minute and contemplated his options. He had two more days of freedom, and he was going to make sure that he didn't waste them. He'd worked through the night twice last week and taken the paperwork from some of Shaw's old cases to keep himself busy, and Best had rewarded him with a long weekend, in the middle of the week. Smiling to himself, he grabbed his keys, his jacket, and his phone before heading out the door.

About fifteen minutes later, he pulled up in front of Toronto Grace. He fed the parking meter and jogged through the doors, hoping he'd be able to find his way back to Ms. Hayes' floor. When he finally did, she smiled at the sight of him and waved him over to her.

"Morning, Ms. Hayes. I mean, Leah." He winked at her as he pulled up a chair.

"And good morning to you, Dov." She returned graciously. "What brings you here?" She leaned forward and listened intently as he spoke.

"Megan had to get to work, and I wished that we'd had more time to chat yesterday. So here I am." He shrugged and smiled.

"Well that was very sweet of you!" She smiled gratefully and reached for the glass of wine sitting next to her on the table. Her voice was a little huskier, Dov noticed. He accredited it to the wine and that train of thought derailed.

"It's no bother, really. I don't really meet a lot of people at work that I can have a decent conversation with. They're all criminals and hookers." They both laughed.

The laugh lines around her eyes gave her face incredible character, and her charismatic way with words simply drew one in.

"Speaking of meeting people, how did you and Megan meet again?" She raised and eyebrow and laughed.

"Funny story, actually." He got comfortable in his chair and she took another sip of her wine. "I had been drinking a little in excess, and decided to start going to those meetings. So the very first time I'm there, I'm standing outside the doors thinking 'shit, what am I doing here?'. I go to turn around and run back home, and instead, I quite literally ran into your daughter." Megan's mother clapped a hand to her mouth and laughed, her breath getting a little raspy. "She basically made me go to the meeting. I mean really, how can you say no to her?" The nurse looked over and smiled at the good natured chat they were having.

"Oh dear. And the rest is history, right?" He nodded, chuckling. "So, she was going to the meeting too?"

"Yeah. She pulled me out of my hole, and I kept her out of hers. She was three weeks in when we met, I believe." He clarified.

"Oh, my poor girl. She's had a drinking problem since the day she turned eighteen." Her mother shook her head. "Always so worried she'd disappoint me."

"Why is that?" He tilted his head to the side. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Well," Her mother contemplated her words. "I will only tell you this, because I know she never will." Dov nodded, understanding completely. "It was tough, at home in Timmons." The woman seemed to collapse into herself as she answered almost every question he'd ever had about his girlfriend. "Her father wasn't a real man. He always needed to prove how manly he was by fighting people. Guys at bars, random people on the street, me." She said quietly. "Megan was always a very strong girl. She had this friend, his name was Chris, and they were very close. She stayed at his house on the nights when her Dad was angry. He was God sent, that boy. Bravest child I ever knew." She waved her hand indefinitely. "Anyways, her Dad would come home after work drunk a lot, and I'd tell her to leave before he knew she was home. So she'd grab some things and slip out the back door. I assumed she always just went to Chris'; I never could manage to check. She'd come back the next day."

"Wow." Dov breathed, in shock. He didn't know it was this bad.

"One day, she refused to leave. We were in the upstairs bedroom and he was trying to get in. I told her 'you hide under the bed, right now.' But she didn't. She just went in the closet and came back out with a bat. I didn't know how long she'd hidden it in there." It was clear that she was getting a little flustered.

"You don't have to keep going." He whispered, putting his hand over hers.

"You need to know why she is the way she is." Her eyes were burning, he could tell that there was decades of hate buried deep inside this frail old woman. "She made me hide in the closet. She forced me to. So I did. I wish I hadn't. But I did. I heard the door open, and I heard her scream at him as she hit him with the bat. But she was only thirteen. She couldn't hit him hard enough." She exhaled heavily. "She opened the door and told me it was okay to come out, but he came out of nowhere and grabbed her from behind. I saw her teeth go into his hand and she kicked him as hard as she could, and I clawed his eyes. But he dragged her out of the room and locked me in. I was stuck. I hit the door with the bat, but I wasn't strong enough. All I could do was sit there until the screaming stopped and he came and let me out. We left a week later and moved in with Chris and his family for a while. I never found out what he did to her." She whispered.

"Oh my God." Dov shook his head. "Oh my God."

"The day my husband was arrested, he tried to flee. He came to Chris' house first, to try and get me to come with him. Chris put both of us upstairs and fought him. Chris' dad, you see, he was a prison guard. He taught Chris how to fight, how to shoot, everything. But we didn't know that at the time, so you can imagine our surprise as we watched from the upstairs window while fifteen year old Chris broke the man's arm and then pulled out a shotgun and took out the back window of the pickup." She shook her head and smiled a little at the young man she remembered. "I wish we stayed in touch, that young man is a hero."

"Actually, Leah," Dov smiled "he's one of Toronto's finest. We work together. He's one of my best friends." He began to laugh as her eyes went wide with amazement.

"No!" She gasped.

"Yeah." Dov laughed, nodding. He flipped open his phone.

"Diaz." Chris answered as he always did when on duty.

"Hey buddy, can you take a break? I'm with someone right now that would really like to talk to you." He winked at Ms. Hayes, who was beaming at the possibility.

"Who?" Chris asked suspiciously.

"Just come down to Toronto Grace. Third floor."

"Alright, man. I'll be there in five." Chris snapped his phone shut.

"Five minutes." Dov said in an almost sing song voice.

"Oh my goodness! He won't even recognize me, I know it." She folded her hands over her chest.

"Well, we'll find out, right?" He smiled at the woman, who took another sip of her wine.

As promised, five minutes later, Chris emerged from the elevator, looking confused.

"Diaz." Dov called out, professionally. Chris' gaze met his, before settling on Megan's mother.

"Leah?" He laughed in disbelief. "No way!" He jogged over to them and leaned over to hug the woman. "How are you?"

"Better for the moment! Chris, oh you're so grown up." She patted the shoulder of his blues. "You look just like your Dad."

"Yeah, well eleven years can change a person!" He laughed, grabbing a chair and taking a seat.

"I can't believe it's you!" She gasped, folding her hands over her mouth.

"And, Leah, there's something you should know about Chris." Dov interjected. Leah looked at the dark haired man with questioning eyes.

"What? Wait – " Chris caught on. "Guess what? I'm going to be a Dad!" Chris almost yelled.

"What?" Leah did yell. "No! Oh my God. Little Chris is going to be a father?" She gasped for the nth time that day.

"Yeah! My girlfriend is six months along." Chris beamed.

"Girlfriend? Oh honey, put a ring on it!" Leah advised, causing caused both men to burst into laughter.

"I missed you, Leah." Chris smiled. "Why are you in here?" He motioned to the building itself.

"Well, honey. That lung cancer seems to have won the battle. So I'm spending my last few days with a good book, great wine and even better company." She smiled gratefully, raising her glass in a sort of toast before taking a long sip.

"What?" Chris asked quietly, his face fallen.

"I know, I know. It's okay though, it's been a long time coming." She nodded sombrely.

"Oh." Chris stated, almost inaudibly.

"Christopher, don't you get upset on me." She warned, tapping the back of his hand. "You'll be fine. Everyone will be fine." She smiled earnestly.

"I'm gonna give you two a minute." Dov left the room.

"Leah, this can't be happening." Chris shook his head at her. "Isn't there anything they can do?"

"Christopher, look at me." She cradled his hands in hers. "You're going to be fine. I'm ready to go. It's my time, and that's alright."

"No it isn't." He stated simply.

"Chris, you're alright. You saved us so many times, even at such a young age. Because of you, Megan is alright. And because Megan is alright, I'm alright with whatever happens." She began.

"I wanted you to come to my wedding." He pouted. "And hold my little girl."

"You know I'll be watching over you, Chris." She smiled.

"I wish I could have done something, I wish I could have helped somehow." He whispered, to himself more than anyone. Ms. Hayes let out a hearty yet jagged laugh.

"Chris, do you hear yourself? You're a hero. You're the reason that I'm alive today. Don't blame yourself for anything. You deserve an award or something." She took another sip of wine. Chris just sighed. He opened his mouth to speak but the ringing of his phone cut him off. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen.

"It's work." He said quietly.

"You go, darling. Go save the world." She smiled. Chris stood, but was clearly conflicted. "Go, Chris. You have a job to do." He straightened his back and exhaled.

He turned to leave but stopped himself, and began digging around in his pockets. After a few seconds of searching, he pulled out his wallet and flipped it open. He pulled out a small black paper, folded in half and handed it to her.

"Her name is Abby." He whispered as she unfolded the paper and her eyes widened.

"Oh, Chris. I can't keep this. This is the original!" She tried to hand the ultrasound photo back to him.

"No. I'll get another one." He nodded, sure of what he was doing.

"You're going to make a great father, Chris." She said, gazing down at the form of his baby outlined on the paper in front of her. "Never forget that."

"I love you, Leah." He said quietly.

"I love you too, Chris." She nodded at him, giving him every ounce of strength she had. Not trusting that he'd keep it together any longer, he nodded and sombrely walked back to the elevator, where Dov was just emerging from.

"You leaving already?" He asked his friend as he stepped out of the elevator.

"Later, man." Chris pressed a button on the inside of the elevator and the doors closed, wiping his eyes profusely. Dov nodded to himself and decided not to pursue the subject. Turning back to Leah, he smiled brightly as he took his seat.

"I can't believe he's going to be a father!" She smiled.

"Yeah, he's pretty excited." Dov laughed. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly, I am a little tired." Leah smiled demurely.

"Say no more. I'll get someone to take you to your room. It was great seeing you again, Leah. I'll probably see you tomorrow." He kissed her on the cheek and flagged down a nurse before hopping back in the elevator and heading home.

* * *

Megan made it home two full hours later. Dov was lying on the couch, watching the news.

"There were two shooters! God! Get it right!" He shouted at the anchor woman. "I worked that case, I would know." He shook his head as Megan opened the door, her arms full of Chinese food. "Whoa!" Dov laughed as he helped her into the kitchen, closing the door with his foot.

"Tell me about it." She sighed, leaning against the counter. She reached up and unpinned her hair, and Dov physically had to restrain himself as her brown locks curled around her shoulders.

"Good Lord, you're beautiful." He smiled.

"Funny." She shook her head. "How was your day?"

"Actually, I hung out with your mother." He smiled. "And Chris came down to chat with her too."

"Really?" She wrapped her arms around his neck in response to his hands sliding around her waist.

"Yeah." He touched his nose to hers. "I didn't realize they were so close."

"Oh yeah. We were a family of sorts, the three of us." She smiled at him. He placed a sweet kiss on her lips, and the fire was only fanned when she slid her hands down to his jaw and pulled him into her.

Within seconds, a kind kiss had turned into one of hot, fiery passion. She moaned into his lips as he lifted her legs up around his waist, her dress riding high up around her perfectly shaped hips.

Carefully, he walked backwards into the hallway where he pressed her back up against the wall, his lips still connected to hers. She raked her fingers through his hair, their heavy breathing only intensifying the anticipation. His lips trailed down her jaw and to her neck, nipping at her collarbone before soothing it gently with his tongue. Almost every kiss elicited a breathy mew from the woman clawing at his back, which only encouraged him.

Eventually, they made it down the hallway into his bedroom, where he gently lay her down before going to work on her neck once more. She wrapped her legs around him and rolled them over, so she was straddling his clearly eager body.

His hands found their way up her back to the tag of her zipper, forcing himself to not rip it right off of her. The zipper hit the bottom of its track and she slid out of the top of her dress, revealing her perfectly rounded breasts. Dov let out a slight gasp before rolling them over again. He'd seen her before, but not at this capacity.

"Get this off of me." She struggled with her dress, not able to think clearly enough to get it off alone. He happily pulled it off of her long, toned legs and only then did he pull off his own shirt before settling himself on top of her. Still working on her neck, he ran his thumbs over her breasts, both revelling in the others touch. His hands trailed down her sides before settling near the waistband of her underwear.

She bit her lip and unconsciously clenched her fists as his fingers slowly began to play with the bow at the center of her underwear. He smiled to himself. He'd waited this long, it was going to be great. It was going to be amazing.

"Jesus Christ." She whimpered as his tongue circled her belly button. They'd both fallen into such a euphoric state that they almost didn't hear the phone ringing. But when they did, the reaction was less than thrilled. They both stared at the phone, the only movement in the room their heaving chests.

"You've got to be _kidding me!_" Megan shrieked. Dov looked up, his tongue still lingering on her stomach. Exhaling sharply, he pushed himself up and reached for the phone on his night stand.

"It's Toronto Grace." He looked at her, his stomach doing flips both in curiosity of what the call held, and at the sight of the woman. She was in the same position, her back arched, arms above her head. Her chest was still heaving, as was his. She held out her hand and motioned for him to pass the phone to her.

"Hello?" She answered, breathlessly. "What?" Her eyes snapped open. "Oh my God. Uh, okay. We'll be there in fifteen minutes." Her voice grew desperate.

"What's going on?" Dov asked as she scrambled off of the bed.

"Mom, can't breath. They're losing her." She forced out as she slid on some shoes before realizing she wasn't wearing any clothes. Dov slid his shirt back over his head and thought about sad things to calm himself down. "Dov, dress." She pointed. He grabbed the dress off the floor and slid it over her head as she hurried down the hallway, zipping the back as they walked out the front door.

"Someone should get that on tape. Dressing on the go." Dov pointed out as he pulled out into traffic. He turned to look at her. She was sitting with her knees up to her chest, chewing on her nails. "It's okay, love."

"I really, really hope so." She whispered.


	4. Unexpected

This is the end! Thank you all for your reviews, I love you all!

* * *

Unexpected

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit." Megan whispered frantically as the elevator doors closed. Dov's stomach twisted into knots, but he kissed her temple and reassured her as best he could.

"Megan, over here." The doctor called when they arrived on the third floor. She jogged over to the man, with Dov close behind. He chanced a look at Ms. Hayes usual chair, and everything became real. He knew she wouldn't be there, but actually seeing it was horribly unsettling.

The doctor led them down the hallway and around the corner to the intensive care portion of the hospital, which was a very dark place when you knew someone residing in it.

"You need to choose now. Either we let her go, or we induce the coma." The doctor stopped them outside the door.

"What?" She looked at Dov. "What?" Her voice was quiet and shaky.

"The coma is the humane way. It'll ease the pain, you'll get to say goodbye. If we let her go, there's no guarantee that you'll even be able to see her again. The nurses are still working on her." The doctor's words were hurried, and a little hard to process.

"Mom." She whispered, bringing her clasped hands up to her nose. Dov enveloped her in his arms, burying his face in the back of her neck.

"Ms. Hayes, you need to decide. We're nearing the point of no return, here." The doctor repeated.

Megan only began to shake uncontrollably, not able to answer. She wanted her mothers suffering to end, but she couldn't stand the idea of just letting her go.

"Put her under." Dov said to the doctor. Megan turned in his arms and nodded into his chest.

"Alright. I'll be back out in a minute." The doctor opened the door and momentarily exposed them to the chaos occurring inside. Nurses were yelling as a tray fell, no doubt bumped by the one that was _still_ doing the unneeded chest compressions.

Dov flipped open his phone and called Chris.

"Toronto Grace. You need to be here." He said simply, before snapping his phone shut and turning his attention back to Megan. Doing what he did best, he held her close and didn't say a word until the doctor returned.

"We figure you've got about fifteen minutes before either the drugs kick in, or..." Dov knew what he meant. He spoke quietly, stepping aside so the two could enter the room.

"We've got one more coming. He'll be here in five minutes." Dov whispered to the doctor as Megan timidly poked her head into the room.

"Mommy?" She whispered, never letting go of Dov's hand.

"Hello, darling." Her mother said weakly from the bed at the far end of the room. She was too exhausted to say much else.

"Oh, Mom." Megan shattered into tears. Dov put his hands around her and walked her over to the bed. "I'm so sorry." Her words were choppy and muffled, as she spoke through desperate gasps for air.

"Don't be sorry, honey. It's about time." Her mother smiled, those graceful lines placed around her face enough to break anyone's heart.

"Do you want me to give you two a minute?" Dov whispered.

"No. I don't want you to leave. I don't ever want you to leave." She held onto his hand.

"Megan, don't cry." Her mother whispered. "Be happy for me."

"Why on earth would I be happy?" She cried out, nearly falling out of her heels.

"Because I got to see you all grown up, I got to meet your boyfriend and see how wonderfully your life turned out. You've made me so proud, Megan. That's all a mother could ever dream of." Her mother's eyes were the same shade of dark blue as her own.

"No. This, you can't, I ju –" Megan breathed, before letting her knees buckle and relying on Dov to hold her up.

"Remember what I told you? Tomorrow is a new day. No matter what takes place one minute, the world keeps on turning. That's what you're going to do, honey. Keep on turning without me." Leah said, her voice raspy but strong.

"It's was a privilege to meet a woman like you, Leah. I hope I live up to any expectations you have." Dov chimed in, quietly.

"Don't be silly, Dov. You've already surpassed every expectation any mother could think of." She laughed, waving a hand dismissively.

At that moment, Chris burst through the door with Gail in tow.

"Chris! What are you doing here?" Leah smiled. "Shouldn't you be out saving the world?"

"The world? I don't think so. There's someone I want you to meet." He placed his hand on the small of Gail's back and she stepped forward to shake Leah's frail hand. "This is Gail." Chris smiled at the mother of his child, who was smiling at Leah.

"Oh, how great to meet you!" Leah clapped. "I like her better than Denise already." She winked at the group. "Just remember what I told you, Chris" she held up a hand to her mouth to shield her words from the rest of the room. "Put a ring on it!" Megan let out a stifled, devastated laugh.

"Actually," Gail chimed in, holding up her left hand. "He did." A chorus of gasps echoed throughout the room, followed by a shriek from Leah.

"It's beautiful!" She looked at the diamond ring on Gail's finger, sparkling magnificently.

"He came home with it last night. Said that someone had talked some sense into him." Gail said, her eyes smiling.

"I was always good at that, wasn't I, Chris?" Leah smiled.

"Leah, I'm serious. I thought about what you said. You always told me that life was better when you understood how fragile it was. Then seeing you yesterday, and now, it just made sense. You made everything make sense." Chris stepped forward and held the woman's other hand.

"Oh Chris, you give me too much credit." She blushed.

"No, I don't give you enough." He took a deep breath. "You said that I saved you so many times. But you were always the one saving me, always. That time I crashed my dirt bike and Dad was out of town? You stayed at my house with me for two days, making sure the concussion didn't kill me. And when Denise and I broke up for a while, I was such a mess. And it was you two," He glanced up at Megan, who was still sobbing. "That kept me going."

"Don't make the dying woman cry, Chris." Leah laughed, sniffing a little.

"Look, I don't want to take up anymore time here." He stood up and motioned for Gail to join him on the other side of the bed. "But more than anything, I just want you to meet my little girl." He whispered. Standing beside him, Gail reached for Leah's hand and gently placed it on her stomach. Leah's face lit up as she felt tiny kicks against her palm.

"She's going to have the best parents, Chris. Better than I ever was." She whispered, looking back at Megan.

"Bull. If I'm a good parent, it'll be because of what I learned from you." He leaned over and kissed Leah on the forehead. "I love you, Leah. Thank you for every moment of my life. It was a pleasure." He didn't know how to say the final goodbye to the woman that was essentially his mother. Realizing that her child was standing on the other side of the bed, shaking, he stood and nodded briskly before leading Gail out of the room.

"I don't want you to go." Megan cried, letting go of Dov with one hand only to grab onto her mother.

"I have to, honey. Nothing lasts forever." Leah answered quietly, her eyelids drooping a little.

"This isn't how it's supposed to happen." Megan wailed, shaking her head.

"I know, I know." Leah held onto Megan's hand. "I love you, Megan Hayes." She could feel her own breathing begin to grow shallow, but she did her best to be strong.

Megan shook her head, covering her eyes with her other hand as Dov slid his arms around her stomach.

"No, no, no." She whispered. "No." Her voice grew frantic as she looked up and saw her mothers eyes, closed. She shook her mother's hand, and stopped breathing completely when it elicited no response. "Mom? Mom? No!" She stood and leaned over her mother. "No!" Her voice grew louder as the doctor rushed in, accompanied by two nurses.

Dov leaned forward and roped his arms around her waist and pulled her back, against the wall.

"Mom! Mom!" She screamed as the monitors behind the bed began beeping and screeching out horrible noises.

"Hold her!" The doctor told Dov as the nurses began checking her vitals and shifting the machines around her.

Dov carefully stepped around the nurses, taking Megan with him. She struggled against him, for once unhappy with his muscular arms around her. She wanted to be with her mother, she wanted to fix her.

"Let me go!" She screamed. "Mom!"

"Megan, Megan!" Dov called out. "Look at me!" He turned her around. "The doctors are what she needs right now." Megan pounded her fists into his chest, but he only tightened his grip on her. Eventually, the sound of her tears were drowned out by the shouts of the nurses behind them as she stopped struggling and sobbed into his chest.

"Mom." She cried as Dov ran his hands over her back, feeling completely inadequate when nothing he could do made her feel any better.

Panic set in as a lull settled over the room, and Dov raised his eyes to see the doctor and nurses hanging their heads in defeat.

"Call it." The doctor mumbled, before turning and exiting the room.

"No!" Megan screamed, turning to look at the lifeless body of her mother in the bed across the room, where just minutes ago she'd been smiling so brightly. Dov sucked back tears of his own and anchored himself to the spot, saying a silent prayer that he'd be enough for her.

"No, no." She choked out, trying to stabilize her breathing all the while her sobs never letting up.

His stomach wrenched itself into a knot as he clawed at her shoulders, trying to hold her closer; being eaten alive by the feeling that he could never be close enough.

After a few minutes, the nurses vacated the room and suggested that they do the same. The only thing harder than watching your mother die was seeing her covered up by the trademark white sheet that made it real. Quietly, Dov took the first steps in leading his completely numb girlfriend out of the room, then out of the building. The ride home was silent. No one cried, no one moved. The dead level that one dreams of had been fully achieved, because as they climbed the steps to Dov's house, neither of them felt anything.

They found their places in the living room, and after three hours of silence, Megan spoke.

"How long will we last?" Her small voice didn't even dent the deafening silence.

"What?" He answered in a whisper.

"Before we reach for the bottle." Her words echoed in his ears. It took a minute, but he got the point across.

"We don't. Ever. If you ever see me even eye a bottle, I want you to kill me." This announcement was sudden, but as he thought about it, accurate.

"Me too." She concurred. He got up and walked to the couch, where she lay on her side. She sat up momentarily, only to let him lay down next to her before resuming her position on top of him. Silence consumed them for another half hour before tears slowly began to form in her eyes.

She didn't cry like she had at the hospital. She didn't cry like she had when she was losing one of the most important people in the world to her. They weren't sharp, painful sobs. They were quiet, calm cries that to anyone else would've looked just the same. They sang of a heart broken, torn in two by a merciless fate seemingly undefeatable. She didn't cry like she had anything to lose, because at the moment, it felt like she'd already lost it all.

They lay there almost all night. Not in the comfortable kind of silence which Dov so enjoyed, but in a conflicted one. One that had many questions, and many unrelated answers. Both of them with an unsettling pain in their chests, heads spinning, slowly letting themselves trickle down the drain into nothing.

"I don't want to do this." She sat up. "I want to forget."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Dov said, his voice rough after not being used for hours.

"Guess." She straddled him, and ran her index finger along the length of his jaw.

"Not a good idea." He mumbled, desperately trying to resist the warm body on top of him.

"Yeah, Dov, cause I'm really just full of those right now, right?" She scoffed before leaning down and placing a soft, enticing kiss on his lips. Every hair on Dov's body stood up as he felt every plane of her body press into his.

His body gave in to temptation before his mind did, but before he could blink his hands were firmly situated on her hips, and she was again sliding out of her dress.

"No, No. We can't, we shouldn't – " He began to speak in between kisses, but she refused to let up. "Megan," his voice was huskier than intended, but he stood his ground. His hands moved from her hips to her arms, and he lifted her off of him. He sat up, but she remained sitting on his lap, looking slightly dejected.

"Why not?" Thoughts swirled in her head. Did he not want her? He sure did earlier, that's for sure. Her words were soft, barely audible.

"Because you don't want to do this." His hands remained on her arms. "I know you don't."

"Pretty sure that I do, Dov." She tilted her head to the side.

"No, you don't. You're upset. You can't drink, so this is the next thing that popped into your head under the title 'will make me forget everything'." He shook his head, watching her expression fall.

"You don't, I know, what about," Her eyes went wide and she began to ramble, determined to prove that she knew what she was doing.

"Listen to me!" He interrupted. "I've been where you are right now. I know, okay? I know."

"No you don't! How could you possibly know what I feel like right now?" She squealed, placing her palms on his shoulders.

"I just do, okay?" His eyes began to swirl, and it definitely wasn't lost on her.

"So what do we do?" She asked defensively.

"What we were doing before. Lying here." Dov responded quietly. "Forever." His eyes fell to the floor.

"Why, Dov? So I can cry, and bitch and moan and you can just sit there in silence? Like you have for the past three days?" She accused. "Why do you do that? I'm upset and you can't say…" She let out a choked sob and covered her eyes with her folded hands.

"Because sometimes you don't have the words." He whispered, his own eyes brimming with water.

"What?" She dropped her hands and whispered, her voice crumbling.

"My mom died. She died when I was seventeen, three months after my Dad left because he couldn't deal with her having cancer." He let go of her arms. "They were my life, and then they were gone."  
"Dov." She mouthed, her voice failing her completely.

"Sometimes, you don't have the words. You can't apologize, or say that everything will be okay, because you don't know if it ever will be." He whispered, his eyebrows furrowed together. "My mom had breast cancer. Near the end, she was nearly comatose. I'd sit next to her bed, and she'd squeeze my hand. It taught me that a lot of times, a single touch can do more than words ever could." She pushed him back onto the couch, and she made herself comfortable on top of him again.

"She was right." She whispered, letting tears fall from the corners of her eyes. Suddenly, she felt like she understood. All the little unexplained things that she'd noticed about him; the way he always held her hand whenever he could, his pure disdain for hospitals, and his visits with her cancer stricken mother on his own volition. He just needed the reassurance that it was all real.

Dov lay quietly, stroking her hair and chewing on his bottom lip. He weaved his fingers underneath the layers of her dark locks, and rested his hand on the back of her neck. Unconsciously, he began running his thumb back and forth over a small bit of raised skin just above her hairline. Completely lost in his thoughts, it was she who broke the silence.

"It's a tattoo." She said quietly.

"Hm?" Dov opened his eyes and looked down at her.

"That bump, on my neck. It's a tattoo." She smiled. Dov realized what he was doing and nodded in recognition.

"What is it?" His voice was rough.

"It's an anchor." She smiled. "I got it when I was fifteen at some sketchy little parlour in Timmins."

"Was this the result of a drunken night?" Dov laughed, rubbing her back with his other hand.

"No." She laughed. "Growing up in my house, it made me mature a little faster than everyone else. I never really had that phase; there was a bigger thing at hand."

"I see." Their breathing fell in tune with each other. "What does it mean?"

"Well no one knew I had it. So whenever things got crazy, I could just touch it and it would remind me that I did have some control." She breathed. "I got an anchor, because I always knew that I could get swept up in the craze. It reminded me to step back and take a breath when things got heavy." She breathed out, as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest. In truth, it had. No one knew about her tattoo, not her mother, not Chris, nobody. Except Dov, now.

"You're brilliant." He smiled, kissing her forehead. "And apparently, you were a brilliant fifteen year old."

"You're too kind." She smiled and yawned into his chest. A few moments passed.

"Do you trust me?" Dov asked suddenly.

"Trust you?" She looked up at him. "Of course. With anything."

"Alright, then I need you to trust me when I tell you that you need to tell me what happened to you two months ago." Again, he threw all of his metaphorical cards on the table.

"What?" She choked out. "I don't want to."

"Hey." He said softly, tilting her face up to him. "You wanna feel better about all of this? You want to start moving on? You need to start with a clean slate."

"My slate is perfectly fine the way it is." She put her head back down on his chest.

"Look, if anyone knows, it's me. You can't carry all of this weight alone, you can't. It'll kill you." He brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"What if I'm not ready to talk about it? What if I can't even think about it, myself?" She refused to look at him.

"You're always thinking about it. I know you are. I look at you at any given time of the day and your eyes are like saucers, and you look terrified. You flinch when I reach for your hand, or hug you. I know you think about it. I know that it's always there." He was getting desperate. But you can only help someone when they want it.

"Telling you will make me feel better?" She asked quietly. "You promise?"

"Of course, love." He kissed the top of her head. "It'll all be okay."

"Really?" The tone in her voice was nothing short of haunting.

"I promised, remember?" He kissed her again.

"Can we talk about what happened when I was younger first?" She was hoping she'd warm up to the idea of talking about things over time. So, she started with the memories that had spent years buried.

"Sure." He unconsciously held his breath.

Her words were quiet, but she only got through the first sentence before Dov's ears started ringing.

"I'll kill him." He seethed. "I swear to God, I'll kill him."

* * *

Now, it's up to you. The next fic I write will be about what happened to Megan and why she is the way she is. I can write it like I did in At A Loss, with Andy and Sam. With the flashbacks in italics and then little breaks in between, or I can just write a straight up fic about it. REVIEW, AND LET ME KNOW!


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